A Nice Spring Day

Yesterday it was 87 degrees out. Today it's 70. MUCH better. Birds are singing, The sun is out but it's not blinding. It's cloudy but not muggy. It's just perfect. We have the AC off and all the windows and doors open. Bees are flying through. Daivi is trying to eat them. It's kind of entertaining, actually. And I really feel at peace today. Today is a good day. I took some pictures, so that I could remember it.

"Mom, I swear no one fed me." "No, I remember feeding you." "That wasn't you. No one fed me. I'm hungry." "You're SURE no one fed you?" "No. I've never eaten in my entire life!"

The dogs have independently moved some of their toys outside, which is a sure sign of lovely weather.

My alums are blooming, which makes it look like purple fireworks are going off ALL OVER my yard. I LOVE it!

The japanese maple, which we've been trying to revive since we bought the house, appears to be attempting to regrow itself. This makes me happy, and I'm wondering what I can do to encourage it.

And the first sign of Spring (which of course I list last) is that my chives have COMPLETELY overrun my herb garden. As they often do. It also seems like everyone on the block has a lilac bush EXCEPT me (grr) so the whole neighborhood will smell like lilacs for the next two weeks. These are usually the best two weeks of my year. I hope this spring really does symbolize a rebirth for me and a settling into my new life. Pray for me that I stay on track!

Settling In

Well, Spence and I have been settling in as parents and Evie seems to be settling in well as our daughter. We've decided that for now we wanted to let her set her own feeding and napping routine, which has worked really well for us. Since I'm not working right now, I take the night feedings when Spence works and then he helps me on the weekend, and then of course I have her during the day, which works out great because if you looked at my calendar you'd see that of the 21 weekdays in April, I have 16 doctor appointments, and they're all spread out. Such is the cost of surviving I suppose. Not something I want to talk about, maybe we'll get into that more later. If you REALLY want to know more, my email is mrscaitiemiller@gmail.com. I'll give you the full story if you ask for it. Anyway, the more she stays awake, the more Evelyn's personality really comes through. She's such a silly girl. And she has such intense conversations with us. At 5:30 in the morning. Haha. I don't know what was so important that she HAD to talk about it then but if it was important to her it was important to me so I stayed up and listened. Finally she talked herself to sleep. She laughs a lot at absolutely nothing, mostly in her sleep. And every day when her dad comes home from work she gives him a big ole goofy grin. I've been able to capture a couple really good shots of her that I just love, but really can't find a place for in her baby book.

I call this her "Say What?!" face

She's gotten in the habit (when she's not trying to eat her blanket) of pulling it up over her head to sleep.

If you displease her, she WILL go Bruce Lee on your butt.

I'm really loving just being a mother and a wife. I feel like this is where I'm supposed to be. Home is where I'm supposed to be. And honestly, after just a few months. I feel like she's enough for me. People are always asking me when I'm going to have more a children. A natural question, and also a big part of the culture here. But honestly, right now, I don't want any more. One is enough. And not because of the reasons you might think. But because, she is enough for me. If I had written a letter to God and asked for everything I wanted in a child (which I pretty much did) I would left out 99% of what he gave me in Evelyn (which is pretty much what happened). I feel like to have another child would be to admit that she isn't enough for me. And she and I have shared so many special moments, like our conversation at 5:30 this morning. I feel like to share moments like that with others, even though they would be my babies too, I almost feel like that would be aldulterous somehow. I know there are MANY (probably ALL) out there who have views completely opposite of my own, but that's just how I feel. She is everything I need.

Happy Easter!

Easter is such a special time. It's a time to come together and remember the sacrifice Jesus made for us so that we might be cleansed of our sins, and His resurrection to symbolize ours. It's also a time to be appreciative of the blessings in our lives (as really all times should be), which can sometimes be easy and sometimes be really hard.

Because we decided not to go to Spencer's parents' for dinner this year, we met them yesterday for lunch. It actually went really well and we all behaved and no one fought! haha.
we dressed Evie up all cute, but she's mad cause she HATES headbands!
What do you know, and actually good picture of me!
Grandpa Kevin seeming like he has no idea what to do with a baby.

When I woke up this morning, I was having a really hard time. I was so deep in my depression I felt like I was bursting at the seams, and I wasn't sure if I was going to implode and destroy myself or explode and destroy everything around me. It was a frantic depression, and it was seriously not pretty. After several hours I was able to calm down enough to actually function, and got my head on straight. I dressed Evie in what I thought was a perfect outfit: raining for April Showers, and a Bunny for Easter:Gah! Another headband!

Dinner was fairly simple tonight. It was just Spencer and I so I didn't really do anything too fancy, except for dessert. Evie was being fussy we we held her at the table. I pre-cut all my food into bite-sized pieces so I could eat while I held her. But it was ok because 1) I've gotten used to doing things with one hand and 2) I got some awesome smiles out of it

After Spence ate he was nice enough to hold her so I could finish. :)

Dessert was exciting. At least for me, but I'm a dessert girl. I made a cake. But not just any cake. A pastel checkerboard cake. I tried to make it with pink, green, and purple, since it's Easter. A couple things. One, apparently when you mix red and blue food coloring in cake batter, you don't get purple, you get grey. The other thing is: for the record, I did NOT use one of those special pans to make make this. I did it all myself. Which is probably why I had to start yesterday. It least a little bit and it's not perfect, but I find it charming. And as far as the colors go, it's a nice green, pink is a soft red, and grey is a soft black. So technically they're all pastels. :D
Before:

After!


I made a mess, but it was fun.
Hope you enjoyed your Easter too!