Settling In

I've been meaning to update my blog for about the last 4 or 5 days, but every time I think about it, I'm just too darn tired! I guess this is what motherhood is all about! It was actually a smooth transition bringing Evelyn home from the NICU and getting her settled in at home. While she does sleep in our bedroom, she's in a bassinet and not with us, and since she got used to a bassinet in the NICU she doesn't have any problem sleeping there. She sleeps really soundly (almost NOTHING will wake her up unless she's hungry!) and she worked herself onto a 4-hour feeding schedule, which lets me get a little extra sleep in between each feeding! I don't know how I'm going to manage being so exhausted when I go back to work, but for now it's all kinda working out.

She's still so little, and a lot of the newborn-sized clothes we have are too big for her. It's so funny to put on a little onesie and see her absolutely swimming in it! On the plus side, she has ALMOST outgrown the premie sized diapers, so we can start using all the newborn size we had stocked up!


Evelyn also had her two-week checkup last week. Her bilirubin hadn't rebounded, so we didn't have to have her readmitted to the hospital, which I was SO thankful for. Also, she had gained weight, from 5 pounds 9 ounces up to 6 pounds 1 ounce! In the 8 days in between her doctors appointments she had gained 8 ounces! I was so proud of her. She's growing so well. And her hair is growing too-it's getting so long!

The dogs have completely adopted her. Bowser is fascinated with her (as long as there's no food in the vicinity, then he doesn't care that she exists). But Daivi, the German Shepherd, has decided that Evie is HIS baby and HIS job and he spends most of his time staring at her making sure nothing is wrong. And he's obsessed with her feet. He loves licking them.


And Bowser has been INCREDIBLY gentle with her, and he is by no means a gentle or subtle creature. Everything he does is over the top, because he's so much larger than he thinks he is. So it's so nice to see him actually being gentle.

Her nursery isn't finished yet. We thought we had another 5 weeks, and since she got home we've been focused on her, but when it is finished, I'll be sure to post pictures!

I've been having some trouble emotionally adjusting to her being here. I won't go into detail here, but I've really been struggling. My doctor put me on a (necessary) medication, but now I'm no longer allowed to breastfeed, which has made me just feel worse. But I know I can't take care of my child unless I take care of myself too, so I have to do what I have to do to make sure I'm healthy. But I have a great support system, and things are looking up. My daughter is absolutely beautiful, and healthy, and I couldn't ask for more than that.

Surprise!

Well our little miss decided she was done and wanted to make her debut early. On Saturday, January 28th, I called my doctor because I was concerned about something I was experiencing, and he told me to go to labor and delivery. When I got there, they said that I had been leaking amniotic fluid for three days and had to be induced. I was really overwhelmed and I just kept thinking, "I'm not ready yet!" I mean, I was only 35 weeks and had 5 weeks left, and 5 weeks is still a long time! But it didn't matter whether I was ready or not, I was gonna have a baby. At about 10:30 Saturday night they started me on Pitocin, which scared me. They did an ultrasound when I got there and told me that the baby was transverse (sideways) and told me that if she didn't go head down I would have to have a c-section. I told them that if it were medically necessary I would do it, but I was going to do everything in my power to avoid that option. Thank God, Evie must have heard me because 20 minutes later she was head down. They told me that I could have the epidural at any time but I wanted to wait until my contractions started. At 2:30 the rest of my water broke (WEIRD experience) and 5 minutes later the contractions started. Only took one for me to decide I was ready for the epidural! The epidural kicked in quickly and I was actually able to sleep through a lot of the contractions. At about 8:15 Sunday morning they told me to start pushing, and at 8:41 she was born! It worried me because I couldn't hear her crying but they told me she was breathing. She was so little! 5 pounds 12 ounces, and 18 inches long. And she was so beautiful! We named her Evelyn Murdock Miller.

I could only hold her for a few minutes because she had to go to the NICU for an evaluation. Thank God she didn't have any trouble breathing and was on room air from the beginning, but because she was so early they wanted to make sure there were no other problems. They moved me to a regular maternity ward room, and I didn't get to see Evie until like 5 o'clock that evening!

Unfortunately when Evie got to the NICU, they found that her blood sugar was low, and she couldn't keep her blood sugar up between feedings. She had to have an IV supplement and they had to test her blood sugar before every feeding. Poor thing had hamburger heels after a couple days because they kept having to stick her. After a few days, unfortunately jaundice set in and it set in hard. She had to be under the bili lights and a bili blanket. Her bilirubin levels went up and down, and then WAY up again. She ended up spending 8 days in the NICU, and it was SO hard on Spencer and I. After I was discharged we got a family room at the hospital and stayed there the whole week. We would go home to shower and that was about it. It was so difficult.


Evie's setup in the NICU

Under the bili lights

Holding Evie wrapped in a bili blanket. She looks like a glow worm!

When it was FINALLY time to come home (Superbowl Sunday!) We wrapped Evie up well and headed for the car.


She wasn't quite sure what to make of the car seat

We've had her home for a few days now and it's SO much easier than living at the hospital. Unfortunately I haven't been healing well (more on that later) but Evie's doing well. It's great to have our little family whole!

Pregnancy Update

Ok, so I essentially stopped updating this blog because it seemed like no one was reading it. Not that I can blame anyone, cause it's so much easier and faster to get updates off of Facebook. But seeing as I'd like to continue this blog, especially after our Little One is born, I figured I'd better get back on the wagon.

I've tried to keep such a good attitude about this pregnancy. Every time I got sick, I just reminded myself it was worth it. Every time I was uncomfortable or in pain, I just smiled and remembered why. The problem with this outlook is that when you end up really sick or with something wrong, you tend not to notice cause you're so busy putting on your brave face. Which is exactly what happened. I never stopped to consider the fact that this has actually been very difficult for me, physically and emotionally. My anxiety has been through the roof and I've had a difficult time coping with even normal day-to-day problems, let alone baby- or money-related things. This I think is a combination of no anxiety meds (which I can't take while pregnant or breastfeeding) and the knowledge that my life is about to change in ways I can't even fathom. I go back and forth between being beyond thrilled about Little One and wondering, "Dear Lord, what have I gotten myself into?" My arthritis (also had to go off my meds controlling that) has given me quite a problem as well. I'd forgotten just how much pain that caused me without the medication to control the inflammation. And the pregnancy itself has caused some problems. I STILL have morning sickness. I can count on both hands the number of days in the last 8 months that I have NOT thrown up. 32 weeks, 1 day, and still throwing up every morning. I ended up losing quite a bit of weight during the first half of the pregnancy cause I couldn't keep anything down, and I became fairly hydrated.

The lastest problem we've encountered is that my cervix began thinning around 28 weeks. This thinning is also referred to as effacing. Now, effacing isn't supposed to actually occur until you go into labor, but mine started thinning early. They don't know what causes it, but it's most likely the rest of a genetic predisposition combined with the pressure of Little One's head bearing down on the cervix. I had already been experiencing Braxton-Hicks contractions without any problems since about halfway through the pregnancy. On December 16th, I was having contractions one right after another, and had 22 in 4 hours. I called my doctor and said that I was concerned; that it just didn't feel right. He told me to come in for an immediate ultrasound and then to go on bed rest. The ultrasound showed that my cervix, which is supposed to be about 4 cm thick, was only 2.5 cm. He took me off work and ordered me to bed and said we'd check it again in 2 weeks and see what was going on. I noticed that the contractions decreased significantly when I was off my feet, and I felt like I was doing better (even though you can't "feel" if your cervix is doing something right or not.) Well after 2 weeks, I had thinned another 6mm! Now the good news is I haven't dilated at all (Thank GOD), but my thickness is down to less that 2cm. So I'm back on even more strict bed rest for the foreseeable future. The doctor said I may have to stay on bed rest until she gets here (especially if she decides to get here early.) This is going to do wonders for my job security, let me tell you. Oh well. Where God guides, God provides. I just have to keep my faith and I know He'll take care of us like He always has. I have another appointment with my doctor on Tuesday, so we'll see if it's gotten any worse then.

Oh Baby, Baby

Well the other day I went in for a sonogram. That's right, THE sonogram. I was SO excited to be able to learn if it was a boy or a girl. Spence and I have been pulling our hair out waiting. Ok, maybe just me. But I've pulled out enough hair for both of us! This baby has such a little personality already! We had so much fun seeing the baby move around, though it was sleeping when we first saw it.

It was on its side with its back to us. I can't believe how much it's grown since I last saw it! We got a really good view of the body, head and the one arm. It was so cool that since the bones are starting to solidify, we could actually see them!

While we were watching, Baby decided it would be a good time to suck its thumb. I felt so badly waking it up just so I could get some satisfaction.

Yes, apparently I AM going to be one of those mothers who takes pictures of the back of their kids heads. I just thought Baby looked so peaceful.

So we got tired of watching baby sleep at decided we needed to move on to some information gathering. The ultrasound tech guided the probe up underneath Baby's bum, hoping we could get a view of its little parts. Well, of course Baby had its legs all curled up under it, and wasn't gonna have any of us looking. Here's an awesome view of a foot-with all 5 toes!

Finally Baby realized that the only was to get us to leave it alone would be to give us what we wanted. So finally it bent over and kinda did the splits for us...and wouldn't you know it, there was nothing there cause...


IT'S A GIRL!!!!!

That's right! My first born is going to be a daughter! I actually started crying I was so thrilled. I was so excited just to find out what it was, but I was really hoping for a girl. The nurse said she looks healthy as can be. My weight gain is right on track and my blood pressure has actually gone down! I just can't believe how much God has watched over this pregnancy. He's just really blessed me with this baby. I put her in His hands and He's taking great care of her! Next up: registering!

Birthdays and Baby

Both Spencer's and my 24th birthdays were really fun! I got some awesome stuff for my kitchen (immersion blender, nice digital food scale, a cast-iron skillet), and Spencer's birthday-Santa (me) was especially generous this year. Let's just say he won't be bored for a while, with all the games I got him! I also decided to try to get back up on my feet and I offered to make whatever he wanted for his birthday dinner. Well, he asked for Lobster bisque, so that's what I made! It took me a couple hours, and afterward I was hurting so much I was flat on my back for three days, but it was delicious and he was happy, so it was all worth it.

So in the last few days I've been doing some scrapbooking. The physical therapist said that the more I push myself back towards normalcy, the better I'll feel. So I've been trying to push my limits a little more and do some things I used to do before I got hurt. My scrapbook pages were all so bland when I first started making them, and I'm actually getting better at making them cuter. I'm really proud of the ones I just made!

At 11 weeks I had an ultrasound. Baby's getting big! I mean, I know it will get much bigger, but I'm amazed at how quickly it's growing. Sometimes it still doesn't feel completely real to me, but so far it's been an incredible experience. I have another appointment on September 6th, and assuming Baby cooperates and faces the ultrasound, we should be able to learn the sex on September 22nd! I'm so excited! Keep your fingers crossed it's a girl!

Ultrasound and Updates

On Tuesday, August 2nd, I had my first official ultrasound. The baby is still small enough to only be seen as a vague lump on the screen, but it's growing! I got to see it's little blinking heartbeat, going strong at 180 bpm. My due date has been moved up to March 2nd. Spencer's starting to get really excited about having a baby, and we're having a lot of fun coming up with names.



On the other side of things, it's been difficult reestablishing a sense of normalcy since my injury. I have trouble doing basic things involving taking care of myself. I still don't trust myself to drive, and I can't stay on my feet for more than a few minutes. Grocery shopping is really difficult, even with help. My mom has been completely invaluable the last 6 weeks. I don't think I would have been able to manage it if she weren't here. We've been having to live on just Spencer's income, which has been tricky, but we're managing. Today I actually had some energy and ambition, so I decided to do just a little bit of baking. I decided to make some dog treats, since they only had like 5 ingredients and very little prep work. Of course, Spencer wandered through the kitchen and got very interested.

Spencer: oooh, whatcha making?

Me: peanut butter biscuits

Spencer: mmmmmm. sounds tasty.

Me: They're for the dogs, sweetie.

He seemed a little disappointed, but maybe soon I'll be able to make some cookies for him too.

6 Weeks

So today I'm 6 weeks along and the morning sickness has kicked in full force. I love being pregnant, but I'm SO not a fan of my new relationship with the toilet!

So about 3 weeks ago I was at work and I got hurt. I ended up in the emergency room and before they could do a CT scan they did a blood test to see if I was pregnant, and that's how I found out! Makes for an interesting story to tell my child someday.

This week is my first prenatal visit. I'm hoping we'll be able to hear the heartbeat but I don't know if it's too early or not. I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I'm going to talk to the doctor about my nausea. I've lost weight because I just can't bring myself to eat anything. It's really frustrating. Plus, since I'm hypoglycemic, I tend to get even sicker when I don't eat. I'm still trying to find the right balance. Wish me luck!