My mother is much more well-equipped to deal with life than she thinks she is. And she likes to tell me that I am too. She likes to tell me this a lot now that I'm back in school, and now that I'm back in school, I kind of need to hear it. I'm technically a transfer student at the late sophomore level, considering I have 58 credits that transferred from Westminster to the U. But all of those credits are either for music or are specialized for a degree I'm no longer getting. The short of it: I'm an entering freshman again. Or rather, I'm a late sophomore with 4 more years to go. I've seen 6 academic advisors and they all seem to have a bit of trouble with me; my wheels don't seem to fit the tracks quite right. Gonna need to stretch a little bit to make this one work. My mom said this morning that she could never figure out which character from the wizard of oz she was. She knew she wasn't the tin man, cause she always had a heart. And she wasn't the lion, because she definitely had courage. But she didn't think she was the scarecrow either, because she thought she didn't have a brain until she needed to know something, and then she realized that if she didn't know, she sure as hell knew how to find out. (Turns out my mom is one smart cookie) All of a sudden, inspiration struck me. I looked at her and said, "duh mom, you're Dorothy. You've got everything you need, you just don't know it." We had a great laugh at that one, because it's absolutely true. Then we tried to figure out who I am. My mom insists I'm Dorothy too.
But I don't feel like it.
I really don't feel like I have exactly what I need at my disposal when I need it. I'm not unintelligent, just out of practice. It's been 8 years since my last chemistry class and 10 since my last math class. I'm just a little rusty. I can be brave if I really need to be (YOU? Bold?!) and I have a heart. But I'm sitting here trying to do my chemistry homework and the conversation from this morning is running through my head and for some reason it seems important that I figure it out.
A sample of chloroform is found to contain 12.0 g of carbon, 106.4 g of chlorine, and 1.01 g of hydrogen. If a second sample of chloroform is found to contain 30.0 g of carbon, what is the total mass of chloform in the second sample?
I feel like a flying monkey.
After I lost my job (and yes, I was fired, I didn't quit. It's a long story; email me if you want it) Spencer and I talked a lot about what my next step would be. I'm not able to work right now because of my health, so we decided that now would be a good time for me to go back to school. I spent the spring and summer home with Evelyn, and on Monday I start classes up at the University of Utah! I'm so excited to be going back to school and working on improving myself and taking that next step in my life. Evelyn will be in good hands during the day with my mom and I'll only be in class in the mornings this semester. I'll be able to ease back in and maybe this time I can actually get my degree and do something better with my life than just working for the State. I can do better for myself and for my husband and for my daughter and I can show her that it's ok to respect yourself and want better for yourself. I can't wait.