The Family Name

So the last couple months I've been getting more and more intersted in where I come from. I don't have a lot of information about my ancestors (only a few generations' worth) but what I have I hold on to very tightly in my heart.

My dad never wanted children. Don't get me wrong; he loves me and I know that he does, but I was unplanned. In the 70s, when the technology behind contraception was not very understood or safe, my mom had a copper IUD put in. She had it for several years, after which her doctor told her that it had caused her to become barren and she would never have anymore children. In 1983 when my parents married my dad didn't have a problem with this because he didn't want children anyway, so they didn't exactly take any precautions. In 1987, I came along. My dad was furious when he found out my mom was pregnant, but as soon as he saw me he loved me. And he's always been a wonderful father. He has never had any children since of course; I'm the only one.

I'm all grown up (in theory) and married now, and plan on having children of my own someday. But I, and my future children, will carry my husband's name. My dad has a brother who has sons, and who will carry on the Carlson name. If this makes any sense at all, I feel like my grandfather's name will be carried on, but not my father's. I'm sure that the last thing my father worries about is the fact that his legacy ends with me. But I feel almost like I'm letting him down somehow (like it's my fault I was born a girl and traditionally take my husband's name). My father and I have always been very close. I feel sad that my children will not carry on my father's name. It's not like this is a pressing issue; not like I'm going to have any children anytime soon! But lately it's been something I've been thinking about a lot. It makes me sad.