Awesome Sunday!

So the last few days I've been having some real emotional trouble. These really negative and really self-destructive thoughts keep forcing their way into my head, and I've been having trouble dealing with it. There are only two things that have been working to keep these thoughts out: One is if Spencer is touching me in some way. I was lying on the couch yesterday with this horrible headache, and he rested his hand on my head, and it was like this physical block that forced these thoughts out of my head. The other thing that has helped is reading my bible. If I keep my mind on the word and keep myself in prayer, it helps drive these thoughts away. I was really looking forward to church today so I could just immerse myself in the word of God and be completely safe from these thoughts. Service was awesome! Pastor Terry got off on a tangent about lifting up pain and bitterness and just giving it over to God. He said that if you wake up with that in you, you just have to give it up to God and let him have it. And the next morning when you wake up, it will be back. And you just have to lift it up to God again. He said that he hadn't gotten off on this track during first or second service, but he felt that there must be someone in third service that really needed to hear that. I just started crying because I knew that I was the person in the room that needed to hear it and I was so grateful God was able to speak to me through Terry. After service I went to visit my friend Becca (she attends second service and works with the kids during third service) and she was able to give me some great advice. She told me that I couldn't come to her for advice on anything, but to know that I might not like what she has to tell me because she's always going to point me back towards God and sometimes God tells us things we don't want to hear. That's fine with me! As far as I'm concerned my life is so much better when I stay with God, and I'm grateful for someone who will always point me back in that direction when I start to turn away.

After church Spencer and I went to visit my dad and Kalos, which was a really nice visit. I got lots of kisses from the dog! That always makes me feel good. Then we came home and I started on dinner. I made salmon. Spencer and I couldn't agree on what kind of salmon we wanted, so I cut the filet (which was huge) into two pieces and cooked them seperately. One I cooked with Yoshida's sauce (which is delicious) and one I cooked with lemon and dill. Yum! I also made a rice dish: basmati rice with peanuts, green onions, butter, turmeric, and a little bit of saffron. I've never actually cooked with saffron before; it's super expensive! It's about $30 an ounce, but it's very potent so a little goes a long way, and honestly how often am I going to use it? So it will last awhile. Saffron is gotten from the stamen of the crocus flower; a pretty purple flower that my mom used to grow in the garden when I was little. She would pick the saffron from the flower and use it in cooking. I got in a lot of trouble one time because I picked the pretty flowers and didn't realize that I could have saved my mom a lot of money by not picking the flowers! Haha. Good times. So all-in-all today was a good day. The only bad about it is I have to go back to work tomorrow.